I spent like 10 years of my life pretending to fly around on a broomstick and you’re asking me if preparing for a love scene was ‘tricky’ because the other person also had a penis?
some fun sex tropes:
- laughing during sex
- and/or things going wrong during sex that leads to laughter
- sex on a countertop/tabletop/sink because we couldn’t wait to get somewhere with cushions
- kissing to stay quiet
- biting to stay quiet
- one person meticulously doing something entirely for the other’s benefit without expectation or need of reciprocation
- "wow i did not know that was A Thing for me until right now and i’m totally fine with that but for the love of god keep doing it"
- someone straddling the other while they’re “trying to read” and slowly getting them to put the book away
- "you’re only allowed to sit there and watch until i tell you otherwise"
- kissing anywhere but the lips
- alternatively, touching anywhere but where the person desperately wants to be touched
- "we couldn’t find a condom so we’re getting each other off in other ways" sex
- anything involving the secretive brushing of fingertips against inner thighs in public spaces
- sex with clothes half on/panties still on
- the pleasant misuse of ties
- sleepy morning kisses that accidentally turn intense
everyone has said and done problematic things in their lifetime. that’s a result of the society we live in, not necessarily a reflection of their character.
what is a reflection of their character is how they react to being informed of the negativity within their behavior and statements, and whether or not they choose to change their behavior.
Why this fascination with the woman who doesn’t know she’s beautiful, the idealization of low self-esteem? It orients the singer as a savior — the sensitive soul whom this girl, who has been slaving away day in and day out in front of a mirror that just won’t reveal the beauty she longs to see, desperately requires. These aren’t songs for young men, who, theoretically, could listen and reconsider their standards of female beauty. These are songs for girls who get the message that insecurity has romantic value, if only because it’s the necessary setup to the grand moment in which they find the boys who — god bless them! — finally pull them out of it.
By all means, write songs about how beautiful women are. Write songs about how beautiful men are too! (Incidentally, if you’re unsure how specifically gendered this trope is: Try to imagine a song in which a female singer says just how much she wants to make a guy “feel beautiful.”) But don’t assume we’re uncomfortable in our skin just because we dress it up when we present it to the world. Don’t tell us we don’t know we’re beautiful, and certainly don’t tell us that our ignorance to this fact is our best quality. We’re good.